Social Penetration Theory: “You Should’ve Been Kind, I Should’ve Been Patient.”

In our family, among the grandchildren, I am the eldest and I have this cousin who’s 2 years younger than me so maybe that’s why I kind of easily get along with her. Here’s the story about us with the application of the Social Penetration Theory.

                Orientation Stage: We do not really talk all the time but when the time comes that she needed to come over to our place to sleepover (because that’s what teenager do), we had the chance to have simple talks about her friends, my friends and other stuff that is not so profound and deep. We also go out somewhere where I can help her with her school works and during that we also had chit-chats about our other cousins. That’s when our friendship starts and grows even more.

                Exploratory Stage: She always sleepover every weekends as much as possible and of course when I am not busy. During this time, we were more open and we have casual talks about our friends and school and our problems about them. Now she’s more expressive and I can easily open myself to her. I was so hesitant in disclosing myself that’s why I think she’s already over this stage but I was still in the middle of it.

                Affective Stage: In this point she now talks about her boyfriend and their problems. She also talks about her family problem. I think this stage is hard for me that is why it takes time before I talk to her about my relationships. We also have some cute, small fights just like sisters. This is the time when she goes out with my group of friends and I, too, go out with her friends.  After I opened myself to her, I felt like this is the most fun part of our relationship. It felt like I found a new best friend.

                Stable Stage: We are now officially best friends! We go out a lot and talks about anything comfortably. She borrows things like bags, shoes and clothes. Usually, I don’t let anyone to borrow my things even my pen. But for her, I lend everything even my cell phone. I let her use my things. But I don’t borrow her things I’m not used to that. This time we are very at ease with each other to the point that she doesn’t call me ate anymore. First name basis.

                Depenetration: This is the most lonesome stage. There comes the time that she get my things in my closet without permit, she doesn’t even give back the things she borrows from me. I talked to her and she got angry. Now, she told stories about me that I’m the one borrowing her things and stuff that is really not true. That was the time when I told myself I won’t talk to her anymore. It really hurts but I should also tell her that our friendship wouldn’t be like before anymore.